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Oct

12

What Jews do, Part III


I imagine that observing Kol Nidre is as personal and different for each Jew as perhaps Christmas Mass or Easter Mass is for Christians. Perhaps more so, but I don’t want to get into a religious oneupsman game.

Suffice it to say, this is one damn serious holiday.

Around 5pm, my husband and I will eat the fabulous meal that’s currently producing a strong, warm aroma around me – roast chicken, gravy, homemade macaroni and cheese (Grandma’s recipe), mashed potatoes, corn, salad, challah, a little wine, apples and honey. We’ll go to synagogue and services begin at 6pm. We will stand for a large portion of the evening as the former heads of our congregation proceed through the sanctuary carrying the multiple torahs, dressed in beautiful white linens and gleaming silver breastplates, pointers or yads clanking quietly against the two scrolls that contain the Five Books of Moses.

We will recite the Kol Nidre prayer three times, slowly, methodically, operatically, as best we can. I have a lump in my throat just writing about it, so moving and attached to my core are my memories and anticipation of its recitation.

I cry almost imperceptibly during this prayer, for many reasons. My Nana died between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in 1985. It caused a schism in my family that was repaired more than 10 years ago, also between the two holidays, and continues to re-generate bonds within my family.

I cry because I think about how much better can I be, will I be, do I hope I can be. I think about how I’ve fallen short on promises and expectations of myself placed on me by myself as well as by others, and God.

This holiday, if you choose to let it, can cause you to be the most humble you will ever be, because truly you have the opportunity to be naked and alone and use that to your advantage – to better yourself.

One thing I’ve always loved about Judaism is the fact that I don’t need anyone to pray for me – I can pray directly and be heard. Rabbis and congregations arose because of Jews living in the Diaspora, not because Jews needed someone in between them and God.

And on this holiday, more than at any other time, I feel whatever connection exists with whatever that higher being is – because, honestly, I’ve never been sure who or what it is or that I fully accept its existence.

Fasting and praying and shutting down helps me clarify myself and my world and my values and my priorities. That it happens formally only once a year, I don’t know if that’s so good. But I know I need to take advantage of it.

I’ll let you know how I come out on the other side after sunset tomorrow.

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By Jill Miller Zimon at 6:38 pm October 12th, 2005 in Politics 

Comments

6 Responses to “What Jews do, Part III”

  1. 1 Bob on October 13th, 2005 11:49 pm

    Jill,

    I was especially interested in your comment that Jews do not need someone to pray for them – they can pray directly to God for themselves. This is similar to the long-time Baptist position, referred to as the “Priesthood of the Believer.” That is, we believe (at least, most of us do – Baptist are a diverse and cantankerous bunch)that the believer has no need for a priest or anyone to intercede for him with God. The believer is fully capable of dealing directly with God, although preachers and congregations can be helpful even though not necessary for one’s salvation.

    I may be mangling the fine points, but that’s the general idea. I was pleased to see the similarity.

    Bob

  2. 2 Jill on October 14th, 2005 2:27 pm

    Bob – I never knew that about Baptists. That’s fascinating. Thank you.

  3. 3 Bob on October 15th, 2005 12:30 am

    Jill,

    You can always trust me to look at the discussion of a major philosophical or political question and come down unerringly on a minor point that has little or no connection to the center of the discussion. It’s a special knack I have.

    I guess I also have an itch to let the world know, from time to time, that Baptists are not a centrally controlled denomination, they don’t all believe the same things, and they aren’t all ignorant rednecks. Some of us are semi-literate rednecks.

    See, there I go again.

    Bob

  4. 4 Jill on October 15th, 2005 1:45 am

    You tell people what they’ve forgotten or didn’t know. Nothing wrong in that.

    I know what you mean about the knack of picking on minutae (I don’t think you’ve done that though). I was one of the best at getting teachers off topic so we could have tests postponed. Why? Because I could always come up with a legitimate question that ultimately had nothing to do with whatever would be on the test. And then they’d postpone the test.

    Brilliant, huh?

  5. 5 Neil on October 17th, 2005 1:44 am

    One of the nicer posts about Yom Kippur. It’s one of the few Jewish holidays where I’ve always felt the spirituality (maybe because it’s the only one that doesn’t revolve around food and family arguments!)

  6. 6 What Do Jews Do: The Series | Writes Like She Talks on March 23rd, 2008 7:59 am

    [...] What Jews do Part III Chanuka 2005 (these have a lot of photos) [...]

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