Wasn’t it Beckett who said: I can’t make the crunch, I’ll make the crunch?

Q: Do you have any idea what you have to do to manipulate ingredients into edible kosher for Passover dishes?

A: Nope - my mom makes everything.

Nah - that’s not true, and I have the burn on my arm from the oven rack to prove it. Just when I thought I’d run out of time before being able to make the brownies and the caramel crunch, we managed to get everything done. So, even though I’d called my mother four times today (one, can you make me a nail appointment, two, did you make the crunch - so I don’t have to (no she didn’t), three, I can’t make the crunch - I’m going to run out of time, four, sigh, yes, I have time to make the crunch, see you tomorrow).

And even though the recipes really don’t take that long - I’m typing this while the brownies are in the oven - it’s just that…well…I never was one of those daughters who aspired to cook and entertain just like my mother. My mother is an outstanding cook, albeit very by the book. And they didn’t have a lot of parties.

But the holiday meals..mmmmmm.

Now, you need to know that since my mother was raised more or less a-religious, and my father (and aunt) were raised in a Conservative synagogue, we celebrated secular holidays - like Thanksgiving - at our house and my mother cooked. But we spent the Jewish holidays, like the high holy days or Passover at my aunt’s house (although I recall eventually splitting the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). All my life growing up.

So - in Connecticut - it was sports central and turkey time in November. And in Teaneck, it was Seders R Us.

Until other events interceded and cousins got married and/or moved away.

But we have fabulous old Polaroid pictures of all the women in the family (there were only four of us) stabbing the turkey, and the men leading the seders.

This year, we’ll have 17-19 individuals the first night, and 20 or more the second night. All family, two different sides, two different cities, two different levels of observance.

But a whole lot of reminiscing and singing and crunching.

Now - can you spot the problem with the picture and tell me what I have to do to correct it? (Jeff Hess - you may not answer)

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By Jill Miller Zimon at 2:38 am April 11th, 2006 in Politics

Comments

8 Responses to “Wasn’t it Beckett who said: I can’t make the crunch, I’ll make the crunch?”

1 Tim Russo on April 11th, 2006 1:34 pm

we used to have seder suppers in catholic grade school to learn about the last supper. my recollection is that the horseradish root should at least be grated into a servable condiment.

also, is that a hard-boiled egg? are you a Jew for Jesus? aren’t Easter eggs non-Jewish items?

also….that sprig of parsley looks mighty lame. we used to do a big leafy endive or escarole bitter herb, but then again, we were catholic, so who am i to say.
2 Jill on April 12th, 2006 1:58 am

Hey Tim - good memory.

Well - the reddish-pink stuff? That’s the horseradish condiment. Then the root is well, just the root. Some folks don’t include both - depends on the plate setup.

The egg is roasted, like the lambshank bone. Yeah, the parsley is a bit weak, we probably had to conserve so we had enough for everyone to dip the rest in the salt water.

The problem with the picture is that the plate is actualy upsidedown - the hebrew letters are upside down - they spell Pesach, but looking at in the picture as is, it’s backwards.

My older brother was a Jew for Jesus for a while in college - traveled around in Godspell and everything.

Did you read the PD column about Martha Stewart and chocolate easter eggs today? That was pretty funny. She is nuts.
3 Neil on April 12th, 2006 4:08 am

What kind of seder plate has God written in the middle? As if He would even eat gefilte fish…
4 Jill on April 12th, 2006 2:40 pm

Hi Neil - Well, I don’t know what it says on God’s seder plate, but on the one in the picture, it just says Pesach, although, as I said, I posted the picture upside down and backwards.

As for the gefiltefish - I’m totally with you! I can’t stand the stuff and yet when I lived in Israel, I had to eat it pretty much every Shabbat I attended, because I was usually a guest in someone’s home and they all serve homemade. Almost makes me wonder if I’m not Jewish, but then I don’t eat lobster either, and I know I’m from New England and lived in Maine for many summers.

One Shabbat in Jerusalem,I was the guest of a very poor family with a zillion children and relatives. We ate at a long wooden picnic table-style table, splintered wood and all. With my lefthand fingernails firmly implanted into the wood in the underside of the table, I made myself eat every last bit of the fish.

When I remember this, I think how ridiculous - that I am describing myself forcing myself to eat something I hated. How spoiled of me. And then I think, but people are allowed to not like certain foods, right? And then I think, well, if you grow up like that, no, you eat what’s given to you.

Anyway, this episode floats to my consciousness not infrequently.

Have a good holiday, whatever you celebrate, and thanks for reading and commenting.
5 Neil on April 12th, 2006 3:04 pm

Wow, I think Madonna and the Kabbalah guys could spend a week analyzing my mistake. I can actually read Hebrew and I was convinced that it said “God” on the seder plate. Can you see how I made that mistake? Have we unlocked a mystery greater than the Dead Sea Scrolls?
6 Jill on April 12th, 2006 3:25 pm

Neil - That is awesome! I see what you’re saying now! Gee - I wonder if the artists who designed the plate did that intentionally, you know - so that no matter how you look at it, there is meaning? Ha - too funny.

As you may know, God is spelled many ways and said many ways in hebrew and the Bible (Old Testament), but the most often seen, I believe is the yud hay vahv hay, which Jews aren’t supposed to pronounce except the high Kohane priest in the Jerusalem temple that no longer exists. It goes with the Star Trek sign, you know what i’m talking about?

Anyway - in hebrew, we usually substitute Adonai for the sounds of those letters together. But no - those aren’t the hebrew letters on the seder plate.
7 scott bakalar on April 12th, 2006 3:54 pm

That’s what I read as well Neil.
I was convinced that there’s a secret message there.

Anyway, enjoy your holiday and family, Jill
8 Jill on April 16th, 2006 2:08 pm

Scott - Steven - I’m still laughing because I can’t believe that after all these years, I’ve never noticed that. See how important different perspectives are?

And - even more to the point: at our Boston second night seder, no one there - even the 60 year old - didn’t recognize it. I don’t know a lot about Gemmarah, the numbers stuff in Judaism, but I’m a little scared about what I’d find if I did study it. And then I also think, is finding a pattern in numbers any different than finding a shape in a shroud or a piece of french toast?