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Sep
23
This year’s high holy days have been a bit of a bust when it comes to soul-searching. My oldest was sick during Rosh Hashana and I’ve been sick as a dog since yesterday morning, when I woke up and faced 13 hours more of fasting. I did take Alka Seltzer Cold Plus – which is a huge compromise for me because I hate taking medicine, or facing the fact that I’m even sick – and drank water. But then my youngest child came to me and said those dreaded words, “Mommy, my ears hurt.”
Enormous heaving sigh. When I told him that we’d have to go to the doctor, the tears started to roll. He occasionally gets an earwax build up and hates when they have to take it out, though he kind of likes this WaterPic thing they use to flush out the wax that the docs can’t reach. And my daughter didn’t want to go to services at all, but thankfully, my oldest was content to attend because at his age, the teens just roam from service to service between two buildings and in general wile away the hours until they can eat.
Contrary to my kids’ lack of desire to be in shul, I was near tears because of all the services I miss. I’m not exactly the two-times a year Jew often written about in the MSM. But Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur were always the high points of being Jewish when I was growing up – with Passover a very close third.
With my new mantra in place – trying to find the space between being a bully and being a victim – I made my interests known: I’d had to miss all of RH and was now having to miss much of YK because of admittedly more important issues: my kids’ health. But I wanted to make sure that I got to be in shul, praying, listening, contemplating.
I got my compromise but then, when I went to rest in the mid-afternoon between two sets of services, I felt so drugged that I didn’t want to get up. Only the proddings of my young teenager – who actually wanted to leave and get back to synagogue – could get me out of bed and back into synagogue.
I contemplated breaking fast many times throughout the day yesterday. Several people said that for the infirm, they must take care of themselves.
Even with only 90 mins. left of the holiday, at about 6:30, my husband and I talked about me leaving the sanctuary but I said, if I’ve made it this far…
And then, later, when we broke fast with Tam-Tam crackers and juice, at about 8:20pm, an acquaintance and I were comparing the ease of this fast to others and I said, you know, all I have to do is look around at our synagogue members who are Holocaust survivors, and I think to myself, they must laugh at anyone who complains about the length or difficulty of the Yom Kippur fast.
That is, if they’re not shedding tears.
By Jill Miller Zimon at 12:44 pm September 23rd, 2007 in Jewish, Judaism
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6 Responses to “There’s always the Holocaust survivors”
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Jill, one might say oy gevalt! What an ordeal. You know its funny in a way – my kids ALWAYS used to get sick around holidays – its like an unwritten kid rule. And my oldest son with the ears – TWO tube surgeries and wax buildup problems – so I can commiserate with you. Glad to see you toughed it out though. So you have Holocaust survivors in your temple – that’s amazing to me. I would just like to sit and listen to anything they had to say – about anything.
Now when you’ve recovered, read Ted Diadiun’s ombudsman column in today’s PD and try to guess why I’m furious about it. BTW, I worked with Ted at the News-Herald. Such stories I could tell. . .
Since you don’t get the print version:
http://www.cleveland.com/plaindealer/stories/index.ssf?/base/opinion-0/11905365946490.xml&coll=2
Shalom Jill,
Me too (sniffle, sniffle). Feel better soon.
B’shalom,
Jeff
Oh no, Jeff!! You got sick too? Oy. I’m so sorry. I got some good sympathy today overall but frankly, I’d rather be healthy.
Keith – have you ever seen the movie “Paper Clips”? I highly recommend it. It includes the experience of middle school students and their teachers people meeting Holocaust survivors for the first time.
Actually, they are crying, do cry during yuntif. They’re never quite used to being “free.” Safety is a safek (doubt thing) for some, that’s for sure.
Therapydoc – your comment and visiting your blog and your post about fasting reinforces all the times I rave about blogs and what I learn and who I meet because of them. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I’m sure you’re right about the never used to being free.
Have a good new year and thanks again.