Spitzer begins therapy for possible sex addiction

So, maybe I need to change the title of this post, Eliot Spitzer incident, Post Number 9 (ok, only Post Number 2): ~~Is he a sex addict?~~ Nope, just human (from 3/11/08) since it now looks as though part of his therapeutic involvement is going to revolve around a possible sex addiction.

From the New York Post (hattip to Bad American):

Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer has gone into therapy in the wake of the hooker scandal that swept him out of office, a Spitzer insider told The Post yesterday.

As part of the therapy, Spitzer will explore whether he has an addiction to sex, the source said.

…

…it has emerged he has had a jones for pricey professional girls going back as far as a decade, and hooked up with “Kristen” - the nom-de-sack of 22-year-old Ashley Alexandra Dupre - several times prior to getting nabbed on tape, sources have said.

Experts say this type of behavior exhibits classic signs of sexual addiction.

“If it becomes an overwhelming urge to the detriment of your professional and familial relationships - if it starts to screw up your life - that is addictive behavior,” said Dr. Jeffrey Gardere, a clinical psychologist.

“Someone who displays this sort of behavior could be classified as having a sexual addiction.”

I would agree with this: “…an overwhelming urge to the detriment of your professional and familial relationships - if it starts to screw up your life - that is addictive behavior…”.

Well, if you know anything about addictive personalities and addictions, the issue is often around risk, taking risk, self-destruction, narcissism and the presence of other addictive behaviors.

Here’s a good primer on addictive personalities, especially sex addiction, with a podcast and links to other resources.

Of course the unasked question is, if Ms. Dupre has been engaged in the exposure of her body for money or other gratification since at least the age of 17, accompanied by the drinking of alcohol, does she too have some addictions that should but probably won’t get attention? Is that right, wrong, unimportant?

Yeah. Remember, there’s nothing victimless about prostitution or infidelity.

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By Jill Miller Zimon at 7:50 pm March 22nd, 2008 in Mental health, Crime, Scandal, Women, Culture, Politics

Comments

13 Responses to “Spitzer begins therapy for possible sex addiction”

1 Joe Ritchey on March 22nd, 2008 8:43 pm

Is there a place to go to therapy for being addicted to reading “Writes Like she Talks?”
2 Barbara on March 22nd, 2008 8:54 pm

there’s nothing victimless about prostitution or infidelity.

AMEN!!! Though I think there’s an underlying personality disorder for the sex addicted that is much harder, if not impossible, to change:

Sexual narcissism is the erotic preoccupation with oneself as a sexual being: a desire to merge sexually with a mirror image of oneself. Sexual narcissism can also be an egocentric pattern of sexual behavior, defined by David Farley Hurlbert and Carol Apt [1] as an inability to experience intimacy combined with a fixation on the sexual act, using high sexual esteem to compensate for low general self esteem. This is believed to be more common in men than in women and is suggested to be the basis of sex addiction. from Cassiopedia.org
3 Jason on March 22nd, 2008 9:08 pm

Anyone who claims that infidelity is a victimless crime should just ask the children that are a product of divorce how victimless it truly is.
4 Jill Miller Zimon on March 22nd, 2008 9:49 pm

Joe R - my first groupie! Thank you!
5 Jill Miller Zimon on March 22nd, 2008 9:51 pm

Thanks for adding that, Barb - totally with you on that.

Of course, the underlying issue under the underlying issue is: why are so many people involved in or developing behaviors that comport with definitions of addiction?

THAT, to me, is the truly worrisome issue here.
6 Jill Miller Zimon on March 22nd, 2008 9:52 pm

Jason - also completely agree. The only way someone can believe it’s victimless if they themselves are sociopaths -lacking a conscience. I know some people will find that harsh, but that’s how I see it.
7 Paul on March 23rd, 2008 12:45 am

We’re all groupies of yours, Jill.

I agree this isn’t a victimless crime, at least in the moral sense.

I’m sure there is a small percentage of women (and men) who prostitute themselves for the alleged thrill of it all, but that percentage must be quite small.

I guess it’s fair to see that we’re all additcted to something — chocolate, music, reality tv, working to get Democrats elected to office, etc.
8 Barbara on March 23rd, 2008 2:37 am

Actually Jill - we are talking about Cluster B Personality Disorders. No one CHOOSES to develop Destructive Narcissism or the other end of that scale - Sociopathy. In some cases its genetic, in others its developed in childhood. Many its both. Its not a choice. These people have NO empathy but are CONSUMMATE actors. Many hide behind religion or altruistic careers (like Spitzer).

I would almost guarantee the only thing Spitzer’s sorry about? Is getting caught.

I am so disappointed in Spitzer. He was the first politician I actively campaigned for in many years but no can see a sociopath. They run companies, countries, etc. There are more & more of them out there.

We are becoming a ponerized society who wants to forgive & forget - and we give these people the ‘benefit of the doubt’ because we just can’t BELIEVE There are people who that cold and simply can’t feel. Sexual narcissists? the closest they get to feelings of any kind is an orgasm. And there’s no fixing them either.

There’s a very good book out now about the ponerization effect in politics. here (warning- the editors & author are somewhat anti-israel and allow that to color otherwise sound research. If you can ignore that and focus in on the study of the preponderence of evil in our society and how prevalent and even covert it is…)

‘Nuff said. I don’t want to sound like a complete wackjob. Point is Spitzer and guys like Larry Craig & David Vitter (and Bush) - they don’t choose this. They can’t help it. They have a deep seated sense of entitlement and can’t really grasp that its wrong or even grasp any reality other than the one in their heads - other than to provide the proper rhetoric for all of us to think they are sentient.
9 Bad American on March 23rd, 2008 9:01 am

Barbara: I agree pretty much with everything you’ve written here but I also think there’s a subgroup that lies somewhere between the narcissists and the sociopathic where theses people DO understand that they are hurting people but that either consciously enjoy it or do not care. But they realize what they are doing, perhaps akin to wanting to win some kind of ‘game.’ Of course the ones that absolutely don’t feel anything, the true socios are perhaps the most dangerous of all but I do believe there is a crossover group that may be the most dangerous because they are the most aware of what they are doing.

I think the notion of the overweening sense of entitlement is a very key issue and crosses other behaviors if not explaining many of them. Bush, for instance, never had to really work for anything in his life and was constantly rescued from failure. He simply believes in the grand scheme of life, G-d has anointed him to be who he is and therefore lacks empathy (a key trait) for others.

I have found an outstanding site for looking into the issues of infidelity and sociopathy and I’m sure you will all find it fascinating reading:

http://www.lovefraud.com/

Make sure you check out the blog on the site. First person stories really drive the point home about sociopaths and how they destroy people in and out of relationships.

Also, a great book on the subject of sociopaths at work which I was unable to put down - Snakes in Suits by Paul Babiak and Robert D. Hare, available in trade paperback from Amazon and other places.
10 Jill Miller Zimon on March 23rd, 2008 9:08 am

Barbara - that’s interesting. I’ve never really thought about it as so organic. I imagine that it can be controlled with drugs, but I’ll have to think about whether it’s a choice or not. I do know how low treatment success rates are.

I think I’d say that I believe that much like other mental health afflictions, some are organic, some not. But you definitely demonstrate more knowledge on this topic. I appreciate the input.
11 Jill Miller Zimon on March 23rd, 2008 9:09 am

Snakes in Suits? Oy - do I really want to read it?
12 Barbara on March 23rd, 2008 1:34 pm

Bad American - I know Donna Anderson from Love Fraud. One of that site’s story’s victims is a very very good personal friend of mine. The blog is a must read. Here’s another one for you.

In my volunteer work with abuse victims now I will safely say that Narcissism and Sociopathy fall on a spectrum with degrees or ‘colors’ of that Cluster B behavior on a spectrum. The majority of these people blend right in.

Yes Jill it is organic, I believe. It is also a choice. They are driven to do evil but some of them do CHOOSE not to stop themselves. This is why anger management doesn’t work and sex addiction counseling is problematic at best.

Here’s the blog of a net-friend who writes on Narcissism. Its part of my bi-weekly read.

Spitzer is still a smart man. If he can keep his personal morality in check - hopefully he can go on to do great work for the people here in New York State.
13 Jill Miller Zimon on March 23rd, 2008 1:58 pm

Thanks, Barbara - your comments and references are really helpful.

I agree with you here:

“Spitzer is still a smart man. If he can keep his personal morality in check - hopefully he can go on to do great work for the people here in New York State.”

Absolutely. Let’s hope he chooses well.