Comments on: Does being a mother qualify as “work”?

By: Jill Miller Zimon

Jill Miller Zimon — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 00:15:39 +0000

Hi Ryan – I’m not familiar with stats/studies/reports about that, but I’ve always been fascinated with how that concept of “afford to hire” varies from culture to culture – meaning, in countries other than the U.S., domestic help is a given – Singapore and Mexico I’ve read are such countries. I am only guessing, but I would assume this has to do with the standard of living and the expectations of those who do the work and those who pay to have it done.

Thanks for commenting – definitely something worth more investigation.

By: ryan

ryan — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:56:05 +0000

most households cannot afford to hire a housekeeper and a nanny….

By: Jill Miller Zimon

Jill Miller Zimon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:20:38 +0000

Loraine – there are just so many phases of being a mom – it changes over and over, doesn’t it? Like a new job description or restructuring every x number of years, hm? Definitely.

By: Jill Miller Zimon

Jill Miller Zimon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:19:34 +0000

ROFL Jeff Hess – re: now we tweet! omg lol and you don’t mean whistling Dixie

By: Loraine Ritchey

Loraine Ritchey — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:17:04 +0000

“”Helping parents find their own functional family rhythm”

and you know what is even harder…. I have found finding the “family rythm” when you are also still a mum and now a “mother in law” errrrggggg…..

It is hard enough when it is your daughter and finding your rythm and “place” in her life with her new husband….but finding the rythm and place when it is your son and new daughter in law double errrrg…. especially for me as my son is ill ( and my daughter in law is now the next of kin and “decision maker”)

BUT a mothers “eyes” still see what others miss and knowing when to assert and when to back off is so hard because inside you want to take control but you have to step back and not go head on like you normally would …….so many factors…. well I am going to my mum’s for a roast beef sunday dinner and some “babying” Loraine

By: Jeff Hess

Jeff Hess — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:34:47 +0000

Shalom Jill,

There used to be rule of introductions that went something like this: younger are presented to older, socially inferior are presented to socially superior, and, I believe, men are presented to women.

By the mere act of introduction, we learn a great deal and then able to engage in the well-practiced art of conversation.

I remember some instruction in 7th or 8th grade where we were taught how to make polite conversation with the opposite sex.

Now we tweet.

B’shalom,

Jeff

p.s. i make small notice of this comment by ta-nehisi coates.

By: Jill Miller Zimon

Jill Miller Zimon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:22:22 +0000

Connie – thanks for reading and commenting – I agree w/pretty much all that you wrote and this in particular resonates for me:

“Helping parents find their own functional family rhythm without imposing judgment not only validates their uniqueness but builds confidence in their ability to parent at “their” best AND minimizes parents’ angst.”

By: Jill Miller Zimon

Jill Miller Zimon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:21:15 +0000

Loraine – I love your point about just imagine doing without a mother – even Macauley Culkin got lonely in Home Alone after a while.

By: Connie Hammer

Connie Hammer — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:14:38 +0000

Kudos to you for your response to the question, “What do you do for work?” Of course being a parent is work – real work, hard work! Unfortunately, our culture has imposed certain expectations on parenting, especially for women – assuming it to be a very natural and easy pastime for us to perfect. When the roles are reversed, does a stay-at –home dad get more or less recognition and pressure to be perfect? I agree that our culture still places unwarranted strain on moms to achieve balance between work and home. In my opinion, there IS no prefect balance that maintains itself in parenting and life! A living system is always evolving, shifting and changing so adjustments need to be made on a regular basis. The job of parenting fluctuates daily and maintaining some type of equilibrium is an ongoing challenge. To expect perfect and constant balance on this fulcrum point is a very ambitious yet unrealistic goal. That is why I see my job as parent coach very important – working with parents to disregard the standards set by society and find what works best for them and their unique family situation. Helping parents find their own functional family rhythm without imposing judgment not only validates their uniqueness but builds confidence in their ability to parent at “their” best AND minimizes parents’ angst.

By: Loraine Ritchey

Loraine Ritchey — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:06:22 +0000

I remember an answer to the question ( sorry can’t remember by whom)
What do you do? –

answer I am raising the future President of the United States

Does being a mother qualify as work…. .yeah and it is the hardest job of work I have ever had but the in house benefits far outweigh any bankers bonus…… just try doing without a mother…. and the job of work has no retirement just ask my 90 year old mum!